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Between Love and Hate: A
Guide to Civilized Divorce
Lois Gold, Plume Publishers, 1996, Paperback , ISBN 0452274966, 1992, Hardcover,
ISBN 0306441322
A guide written
for divorcing parents to improve communication and to utilize the skills of
effective negotiation and conflict resolution to avoid costly legal battles. The
book addresses legal, financial, and emotional issues during and after the
divorce process. It also offers much information for mediators, therapists and
attorneys who assist divorcing couples as well.
Caught in the Middle: Protecting the Children of High-Conflict Divorce
Carla Garrity and Mitchell Baris, Jossey-Bass, Inc., 1997, Hardcover, ISBN
0787938793
Focusing on the effects of inter-parental conflict on children of divorce, this
book explains to parents and to divorce professionals the nuances of high
conflict divorce. It examines the causes and consequences of parental conflict
and offers concrete advice to make co-parenting work, even in high conflict
divorce. Chapters include topics such as: Why Work It Out?; Understanding
Conflict Developmentally; How to Assess Conflict; Normal Visitation Versus
Conflict Visitation: Parental Alienation; and Creating a Parenting Plan for High
Conflict Divorce.
The Children's Book...For the Sake of the Children
A Communication Workbook for Separate Parenting After Divorce, Marilyn S.
Erickson and
Stephen K. Erickson, CPI Publications, 1992, Paperback workbook, ISBN 1881111024
As a communication workbook for separate parenting after divorce, this book
replaces the common notebook transferred between parents. It contains and
organizes information pertinent to the children in one workbook which is
exchanged between the parents during transfers. In addition to forms for
important personal, medical, and educational information, it contains many blank
pages, useful for encouraging written communication between the parents and
discouraging using the child to carry oral messages between the parents.
Choosing a Divorce Mediator: A Guide to Help Divorcing Couples Find a
Competent Mediator
Diane Neumann, Owlet Publishers, 1997, Paperback, ISBN 080504762X
A user friendly guide for potential clients of mediation, this book allows the
reader to peek into the mediation process and make wise decisions about choosing
the right mediator for you. Covering such topics as whether mediation is for
everyone and every situation, how to get your spouse to mediation, and assessing
your needs in the mediation process, this guide also provides interview
questions to ask mediators and how to choose a lawyer.
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
Abigail Trafford, Harper Perennial, 1993 Paperback , ISBN 0060923091
A journalist's account of the emotional and practical struggles of going through
divorce, this book is written from the perspective of the author’s
personal experiences as well as from her researched interviews of a national
sample of hundreds of divorced men and women. The book is a personal road map
for people going through divorce. It presents a step-by-step guide to
understanding the predictable emotional passages of men and women after a
marriage ends.
Dinosaurs
Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families
Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown, Little, Brown and Company, 1986, Paperback,
ISBN
0316112488
This cartooned paperback book was written for parents going through divorce to
read to their young children. It presents, in a very straightforward fashion,
the truths and realities of divorce for children to understand. Using a dinosaur
family that goes through the divorce process, it narrates the process and
explains all the terms (with a glossary) at a young child's level of
comprehension. Topics include: divorce words and what they mean; why parents
divorce; living with one parent; visiting your parent; telling your friends;
meeting parents, new friends; living with step-parents; and more.
Divorce and Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During
Divorce
Violet Woodhouse, Victoria Felton-Collins, Robi Leonard, and M.C. Blakeman. Nolo
Press, 1996, Paperback (3rd Edition), ISBN 0873373421, June 1998 (4th Edition),
ISBN
0873374622
This is a comprehensive, readable guide to help divorcing couples navigate the
financial maze of gathering information, generating and assessing options, and
reaching financial property settlements. Charts and formulas with
fill-in-the-blank formats abound to help collect and organize information and
resolve such diverse questions as how to share a tax refund or liability, or how
to find the present and/or future after tax/sale value of a residence.
The Divorce Mediation Handbook: Everything You Need to Know
Paula James, Jossey-Bass Publishing, 1997, Paperback, ISBN 078790872X
A one-stop resource for couples who want to spare themselves and their children
the destructiveness and costs which result from an unfriendly divorce, this
detailed mediation road map walks couples through each step of the process and
show how to reach a fair and reasonable settlement. Charts and worksheets.
Families Apart: Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting
Melinda Blau, Bantam Books, 1995 Paperback, ISBN 039952150X
This book for divorcing parents is based on the author's interviews with
divorced parents, family therapists, and psychologists. It offers practical
solutions that give parents a new model of post-divorce relationships.
Structured around ten principles of successful co-parenting, this book describes
the tasks, attitudes, and communication skills that are required to move the
family through all the transitions and events that continue to bring parents
together in their children's lives. The author urges parents to put aside
their own conflicts and maintain contact with the other family's; using creative
problem solving to negotiate disagreement.
The Family Puzzle
Nancy S. Palmer, William D. Palmer and Kay Marshall, Strom Pinon Press, 1996,
Paperback,
ISBN 0891099492
This book addresses the issues of blended families to assist parents in avoiding
the common pitfalls of the blending process and helping parents recognize the
benefits of their new situation. It teaches the ins and outs of step parenting,
how to deal with ex-spouses, relatives and friends, and ways to make the
transition as smooth as possible for the children involved.
Getting To Yes: How to Negotiate Agreement Without Giving In
2nd Edition, Roger Fisher and William Ury, Penguin Books, 1991, Paperback, ISBN
0140157352, 1992, Hardcover, Bruce Patton Editor, ISBN 0395631246, Audio
Cassette, Simon and Schuster, ISBN 067634062
This first book of a trilogy is based on the Harvard Negotiation Project. It
offers a practical, universally applicable approach for reaching mutually
acceptable agreements in disputes ranging from domestic conflict and business
disputes to international tensions.
The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes
Apart
Constance Ahrons, Basic Books, 1995, Paperback, ISBN 0060926341
This book counteracts the myths that divorce inevitably turns adults into bitter
enemies, results in damaged children and broken homes, and rips apart the fabric
of society. Written for divorcing parents, it focuses on what we can learn from
families that divorce while maintaining family bonds and doing well by their
children.
Healthy
Divorce
Craig Everett and Sandra Volgy Everett, Jossey-Bass, Inc., 1994, Hardcover, ISBN
1555426727
This book explores ways of confronting difficult issues such as how to tell your
children you are getting a divorce, how to plan a separation, and how to cope
with your feelings of anger, grief, and abandonment. The authors offer practical
advice on using mediation as an alternative to the adversarial court battle;
co-parenting to maintain stability for the children after the divorce; and
organizing and structuring a happy blended family. Filled with checklists and
examples, this book offers a detailed plan for surviving the emotional
difficulties that are an inevitable part of every divorce.
How It Feels When Parents Divorce
Jill Krementz, Alfred A. Knopf, Rebound by demcomedia. 1988, Turtleback, ISBN
060603823
This book, written for children of divorce, is based on interviews with nineteen
boys and girls, aged seven to sixteen, from highly diverse backgrounds. Through
pictures of the children and their stories told in their own words, the author
presents the pain and resilience of children going through divorce. The works of
the children are immediate and convincing and are presented without
rationalization and illusion.
How To Mediate Your Dispute
Peter Lovenheim, Nolo Press, 1996, Paperback, ISBN 0873373294
This book explains how the mediation process works form start to finish and
provides detailed information on how you can use it to resolve the most
troublesome neighbor, business and divorce disputes. The book covers such topics
as how to decide if mediation is right for you, finding the right mediator,
preparing for mediation, understanding what the mediator is doing and why, and
making your agreement legally enforceable.
How to Win as a Step Family
Emily B. Visher and John Visher, Brunner Mazel, Inc., 1991, Paperback, ISBN
0876306490
This is a handbook for prospective and current stepfamilies that provides solid
suggestions for creating a new family after divorce. The book discusses the
vital questions that arise during the adjustment process, from premarriage to
remarriage. Included are discussions of questions such as: How do you handle a
child's anger over your decision to remarry?; How do you integrate both sets of
relatives into your wedding ceremony?; How do you cope with disciplining older
step-children?; and, How do your ex-spouse's parents fit into the
grand-parenting picture?
Kids Are Nondivorceable: A Workbook for Divorced Parents and Their
Children, Ages 6-11
Sara Bonkowski, ACTA Publications, 1987, Paperback, ISBN 0915388316
This useful, practical, self-help book for children and parents going through
divorce includes exercises for children. The author sensitively helps parents to
understand their own and their children's feelings and to heal them in their
journey through divorce.
Letting Go of Anger: The 10 Most Common Anger Styles and What to Do About
Them -
Ron Potter-Efron and Pat Potter-Efron, New Harbinger Press, 1995, Paperback,
ISBN
1572240016
A clear, accessible book containing revealing self-tests and real-life examples
designed to help readers better understand their anger styles and offers simple
methods for recognizing and changing the ways anger is expressed.
Mom's House Dad's House: A Complete Guide for Parents Who are Separated,Divorced or Remarried
Isolina Ricci, Fireside, 1997 Version, ISBN 0684830787
The ground-breaking classic, now revised, updated and expanded, covers legal,
financial and emotional realities of creating two happy and stable homes for
children in the often difficult and confusing aftermath of a divorce.
Parents Are Forever: A Step-By-Step Guide to Becoming Successful
Co-Parents After a Divorce
Shirley Thomas, Springboard Publications, 1995, Paperback, ISBN 0964637820
The author indicates that this manual is intended for all separated adults who
are rearing children when another adult is legally designated as a caretaker.
This includes not only divorcing parents but also parents who never married,
grandparents, foster parents and legal guardians. Divided into four parts,
"Addressing the Problem of Parent Divorce," Preparing to Restructure the
Family," "Creating a Co-Parenting Plan," and "Living the Concept of
Co-Parenting," this book is written in plain English and can easily be read in
one sitting. Dr. Thomas provides insightful suggestions for co-parents with
children at different ages and developmental levels, with discussions of
possible routines, problem indicators, and corrective steps which can help
parents help their children.
Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce: Who Wins,
Who Loses,and Why Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, Houghton Mifflin
Co., 1996, Paperback, ISBN 0395735335
Based on a ten-year longitudinal study of divorce, this book is the first full
account of the long-term effects of divorce on the American family. The
complexities, tragedies and opportunities inherent in divorce are presented
through the exploration of the divorce experiences of three different families.
The life stories of these men, women, and children show the ways in which
divorce is reshaping and redefining the American family. Using a novelistic and
anecdotal style, clinical research data are presented that capture the essence
of the divorce experience of this clinical research population.
Strengthening Your Stepfamily
Elizabeth Einstein and Linda Albert, Random House, 1987, Paperback, ISBN
039475283X
Written by step-parents for step-parents about step-parenting, this book
explores the complexities of stepfamily living. Myths about stepfamilies are
separated from reality as the authors address issues such as making decisions in
a stepfamily, deciding who disciplines the children, helping step-siblings feel
like a real family, overcoming the expectations of instant love, and living with
ghosts of a former marriage. In a short book, the authors cover a broad range
of difficult topics and the essential groundwork for creating a successful
remarried family.
Teens are Nondivorceable: A Workbook for Divorced Parents and Their
Children, Ages 12-18
Sara Bonkowski, ACTA Publications, 1990, Paperback, ISBN 0915388367
The companion to Kids Are Nondivorceable (above), this workbook is written by a
divorced counselor and teacher specifically for divorced parents of junior high
and high school children. The workbook includes creative exercises, practical
suggestions, and useful information for parents trying to help adolescents
understand and adjust to the separation or divorce of their parents.
Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents, 3rd Edition
Vicki Lansky, Book Peddlers, 1996, Paperback, ISBN 0916773485
Children do not believe in no-fault divorce. They blame the parents or
themselves. No matter what their age, they need reassurance, security and love
to get through this painful period. Drawing on her own and others' experiences
as well as the expertise of professionals, Lansky gives parents age-specific
advice on what reactions to expect from their kids and tips to cope with divorce
realities.
Another excellent book for parents who live distant from their children is
101 Ways to be a Long Distance Super Dad - or Mom, Too!, by George Newman.
You can purchase this book at
www.amazon.com. The cost, excluding shipping, is $9.95. This book is filled
with good ideas which will enable parents and their children to build and
maintain strong relationships despite being separated geographically.
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